"Dating" Christ - Advice to my single sisters

My sisters,
Before you get apoplectic and begin to question my theology (that's the nicest way I could put it), know that I am not speaking as the world speaks of "dating". The idea of dating for this world has moved from using the time to know a person's character and essence to a mere encounter and sleeping with someone. I can say more on this subject, and I will later, but I'm talking about an old Queen's English expression for dating or seeing someone: walking out with so and so. The "walking out with" inferred that it was an exclusive relationship, one that actually involved walking around with someone as well as seeking to know him or her better, to know their character, etc.

Many women - both young and older alike - frustratedly move through life single, desiring to be linked to someone with whom they can share their lives. Christian women are no different. There is nothing wrong with this desire, for God created us to be capable of finding love and companionship with a mate. In fact, after the Fall, one of the consequences to befall the female race was that our "desire and craving will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16 AMP) Many of us truly crave for a husband to be in our lives, so much so - and I'm talking of us Christian women - that we will grab the first person in britches who looks 'respekkable' as my girl friend says, who appears to be enough of a man of God, who kind of resembles that. And who can blame us? Everything about us cries 'coupling' - music, movies, television, books, and in some cases culture. Ancient cultures of the Middle East, the Far East, Africa and elsewhere shape the outlook and desired future for women of those cultures - to be married and settled is a primary goal, an ultimate fulfillment and affirmation, followed by a very fruitful womb. I recall speaking recently in a group of women from various cultures, and one of my African sisters who now lived in the western metropolitan culture with its stressful demanding insistence on two-paycheck households, reflected how blessed she was to have several children - even though it often proves difficult to raise and discipline them in this foreign culture estranged from the 'norms' of her mother country. Others have spoken of their need to be married by a certain age, and begin in their early teens learning and preparing for such a future role. The complexities of living in this hemisphere are so demanding mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, with its high cost of living and need for both woman and man to earn a paycheck in the household, unless of course, the man is very well set in his career, and for the woman to put all of that education she received to 'good use'. Some of us Christian women find it hard to locate a man who can fulfill our - and I'm going to say it even though you will holler - unrealistic dreams of Prince Charming with all of the necessary credentials. We often put forth great energy, and great $$ storefronts (clothing, beauty shop, etc.) to be ever ready for 'catching' the One.

Is that really what God wants for you - frustration, endless toil, conflict with your spirit and the Holy Spirit, raising the search to almost idol proportions? To what limits will this lust for a husband push us? Once you charm Mr. Good enough, will he be able to keep you strong in Christ and encourage your spiritual growth and intimacy with Him, hold your hand and with him step into eternity with Christ?

To my Christian sisters who are still single and feeling tempted to break through the moral barriers or guardrails God has established in His Word for us for our protection so that we can experience the best in life, let me point you to something beyond our immediate, and in the face of eternity, temporary fleshly cravings. Walk first with Christ - 'date' Him and grow in relationship with Him first. Get to learn His desires for you, His will for your life. I recently heard a Christian man admit to the world that he was a virgin in his single life because his Godly mother had instilled Christ in him, and he had walked with Christ until, in His will, He brought him to his mate for life. He was 37 years old before he was married, and think of the beautiful story he could tell his wife: that he remained pure for her, that he waited to give the gift of intimacy to the one whom God would choose for him. How powerful an aphrodisiac is that ladies? Will our stories be similar?

Have you 'dated' or walked out with Christ - or more specifically, walked with and in Christ? I don't just mean going to church regular and looking for Mr. Right in the pews, or even being a churchgoer and maybe getting on this or that church committee and/or doing all things churchy. I'm referring to putting Christ first in your life - before the pursuit of that man, so that your focus is first in getting to know the Christ of the Bible (not the version we are taught by the world to believe). Seriously, do you think God has brought you into the world simply to copulate and fulfill fleshly desires? Did He save us through His blood to satisfy ourselves first and foremost?

No! We are told to seek Christ's kingdom first, then everything we need for life in Christ will be given to us. (Matthew 6:33) Christ calls us for a 'date' - not the other way around! Notice the underlying principle in that truth. (Romans 1:6; Hebrews 12:2) He invites us to walk out with Him, to walk in His light - His countenance and character. (1 John 1:6-7) He invites us to desire a heart for Him. (Ephesians 3:16-17) He invites us to walk in His truth and His life (John 14:6; 3 John 3,4; 1 John 5:12; Romans 6:4). He tells us what "dress" pleases Him (Ephesians 4:18-24, Revelation 3:4), and that He desires us to walk in His name - to know true intimacy with Him by taking on His name (Zechariah 10:12, John 20:31, Colossians 3:17, Revelation 22:14). He asks us to walk in His Holy Spirit and grow an attitude for Him (Romans 8:4; Ephesians 5:8,10; Philippians 2:10-11) He invites us to ask of Him good things (Luke 11:13; 1 John 5:14) He is able to 'elevate' us to the highest levels, to give us treasure beyond imagining (Ephesians 1:3,4; Ephesians 2:6; Colossians 3:1-4; 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24; Colossians 2:2-4 KJV) He promises us that He will make all things of our life and in our life work together for good - He wants only the best for our lives - if we love Him. (Romans 8:28; John 10:10)

These truths are not a 'placeholder' until a man comes along. Like God doesn't know our true motives. When we put Christ first and foremost, if it is His will for us to marry, He will guide us to the correct mate (compare Psalm 25:4, 5, 12). Can you think of anyone more qualified to do this? No matchmaker at any price can lead you to the one God has chosen for you, one in whom with Christ you will delight (compare Proverbs 5). We can ask Christ for a God-fearing mate because as a believer He does not want us to be unevenly yoked to a person who does not also put Christ first in his life. (2 Corinthians 6:14) These words God has given us for our benefit, so that we can experience the best that He has for us. (Colossians 2:6-7; Proverbs 8:32-26)

My single sisters in Christ: Do not forsake or reject these words - it will be sure to bring your unhappiness. (Proverbs 4:2, 20-22) Wait on the Lord and walk with Christ, for He is your true future. (Psalm 27:14; Psalm 130:5; Lamentations 3:25; Micah 7:7; 1 Corinthians 4:5; Philippians 3:20; Jude 21; compare Romans 8:18, 2 Timothy 4:8) I can tell you from personal experience and going my own way to find Mr. Good enough, that the Word of God always proves true regardless - and that truth is absolute. May your hearts be filled with the peace of Christ as you let Him call on you, and that you take Him up on His offer to walk out with Him.