Forgiveness – My Story [Inspired by the crucifixion of Christ as told from the perspective of an unnamed thief circa 31AD]

      

Seven hours is a long time when you’re in trouble. 

I keep goin’ over this in my head ‘til it hurts – “how did I wind up here?” 

*Sigh*. I’m guessin' it started when I was a youth – I got mixed up with some fellows –one of’em was the son of my mother’s sister; they were bullies and stole stuff from people who were naki, real weak. It was scary first time, but when you poor and your pockets all of a sudden got coins in'em, the fear just goes away--like a scared bird--when you hear them coins clinkin' together - mmmh – you feel rich! But, uh, if I was gonna tell the truth – course not somethin’ I be sayin’ to my partners, I really was scared each time we stole stuff from people cuz I kept asking myself, how many more times can we get away with it? But later, when there wunt nothin’ to eat, hungry took over fear; no sech thing as free food. 

Ev'rythin' was goin' good enough...somedays you gettin' enough for some food and somedays you be gettin' enough for food and shoes, and even a decent robe! Then one day, this rich man who look like he was a lawyer or sumthin was gone on the road that goes from the Engedi in the wilderness all the way to Jerusalem and Samaria. You see, there’s this little spot on the road up between the mountains so travelers can’t see what’s in front of ‘em or behind’em. It’s real wind-ee, you know? So this rich lookin' ol’ man had a bunch-a bondsmen – so you know he had coin -  they went afore him with this noisy rattlin’ cart fulla loot; couldn’t hear much by that noise. Too many of’em to try to steal from that stash. But, when they gone afore enough so you couldn’t see’em and they couldn’t see you or them master, we made our move. One of our gang gagged the ol’ man an’ pull’him down off his donkey; you could hardly hear his little whine. The fellow what’s grab’him kept him down, while the rest of us pick’d his pockets an’ stole the purse hangin’ on the animal. When we got our plunder, the fellow who was holdin’ the ol’ man down told him not to make any noise or else… we ran back to the thicket where we been hiding. I was shaking ‘cuz we never in all the time we be doin’ this – we never hurt somebody to make’em bleed; I mean the ol’ man was alive but he was scared-er than me. Never been so scared in my life! This was the most hard we e’er done to somebody – they just usually throw their money at us and run. Now, I’m the one who runnin’. I also thinkin’ – when we first started working this shohd, this robbin’, we bein' just glad to get a coin here, a coin there, but, y’know, we was “lucky” – we got away erry time! An’ we stole from a lotta people. This one, this time though -- I swore on my father’s head this gone be my last time. We could sell alla stuff we had store, an I buried some coin for me when nobody lookin’. I beg’ the gang to lay low for a while ‘til this blew over. Are greedy leader  he laughed at me. He always greedy – we threw fists once ‘cuz he wanna take mos'of da plunder, but this time he says layin’ low might be a good idea. Says we won’t be stealing for a while. I liked the sound of that, and it made me feel good an' comfutable to hear'em say so. 

Well, he was right, but not the way I wanted him to be right. 

We made it to our reggla cave where we like tuh go ‘cuz it hides from the main road. But this time, some kind of way, they found us. Where’d we mess up? We tried runnin’, but the soldiers come up on us. Guess we muss’v  run outta  “luck.” Our leader and one of the other fellows tried  fightin’ their way out – I kept tellin’em to stop, stop man, then one of’em hit one-uh the soldiers and him an’ the leader tried gettin’ way to the wilderness; in the end, though, well--they didn’t make’it. I tried to bribe the soldiers with the purse – they like bribes, but they wont having' it today for some reason. The soldiers then tie' me up with leather straps and rough rope; they make me walk all da way to Jerusalem. I knew what was comin’. Jewish men never gets a fair trial no matter what. The Romans always wanted to make an example of criminals. Ha - muss’v been my turn.

Seven hours is a  l o n g  time. A long time. 

I got hanged onna stake next to two other fellows – one was a rebel who tried-duh get some other Jews to go up on the Roman governor. He be a thief too like me and he was very angry. The other man was this Rabbi I heard ‘bout – he been upsettin’ all da villages, and making the Pharisees mad. The soldiers ha'done a number on him – he was beat up bad, and looked like they tortured ‘im; he looked half dead. He really muss’v done somethin’ wrong for all that! The fellow on my other side started cursin’ him, callin’ him a blasphemer. An’ sayin’ he was God anna  new king! I tol’ the beaten up man “if yous a god, get us down offa these crosses!” I added my own cursin’ ‘cuz I was angry I got caught an’ now here I was. Hangin’ on a crossbeam. I asked him, “if you god then why you hangin’ on a crossbar like us? Why they treat you so bad? What kind of god are you?” Only, I wished right then he was God, ’cuz seven hours is a long time to hang on a crossbar ‘n’ stake.

The day wored on, an’ the sun’s heat made the air feel like it’s full of needles. The angry fellow kept on with his rilin' on the tortured man; kep’ callin’ him Yeshua, which kina made me laugh ‘cuz the name means “God saves.” Yeah, right. So I’s in and out of consciousness. But one of those times I start thinking about it -- then I 'emember seein’ this Yeshua walkin’ with a crowd some time afore all of this. . .hey! He’s da one that healed the lame man! That man’s legs were all messed up – he’s always beggin. I’s on the edge of the crowd but I saw most of it with my own eyes. Thought it was a scam though… It was hard to remember who this Rabbi was ‘cuz I mean his face so messed up. An’ I heard him mumblin’ words I just barely make out over the angry fellow’s yellin’ – like, he was talkin’ to somebody and tellin’em that the people should be forgiven. 

Seven hours is a long time to hang on a crossbar and stake… 

So I come to ag’n. Angry fellow looked all used up. The Rabbi, Yeshua, was really lookin' bad and in lotsa pain. But his words—his words about forgiveness was still ringin’ in my ears – I saw what he done; I was even one of the people that the wild man John baptized. For repentance. I, I remembered seein’ Yeshua near the river one day and the wild man John said that Yeshua was the Lamb of God that takes away the sins of the world. Someone even said that He was The Messiah!! Was it true? Could it be true? I prayed for the first time in a long while that it could be true an’ that I was next to somethin’ or somebody divine. 

I was in the seventh hour on this cross and know’d my life would soon be over... 

Then Angry fellow woke up and tried to yell at Yeshua again—pantin’ with each word. With the little bit of force I had left I told angry man “to stop cuz this man, Yeshua, is innocent. We’a payin’ for our sins, but this man he’s not sinned.” I heard myself say those words like an echo. Was I still alive, then? I looked up, then the Rabbi Yeshua looked at me with eyes that seem to look all the way into my soul.  An' I felt somethin' like I nevah be feelin' before. I felt peace!  There was something ‘bout them eyes. 

With slow breaths I ask the Rabbi, the Messiah: ‘Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” And the Lord, the Lamb, hangin’ next to me, and still lookin’ in my eyes said, “Truly I will remember you and you will be with me in Paradise.” 

I was forgiven! I am forgiven! I wanted to shout it out loud, but it came out in gasps. I prayed to God in heaven “toda, thank you” and tol’ the Rabbi, The Messiah Yeshua, with tears in my eyes, “toda , toda,” and I wont sure why; I just knew inside somethin’ had happened I didn’t deserve. 

See: seven hours is a long time to hang on a crossbar ‘gainst a rough wood stake only knowin’ ‘til right now, my last hour, my life had no meaning. This seventh hour changed everything—I was forgiven by Him.

Then the soldiers broke Angry man’s legs and he cried out loud cursin’ the emperor; he died just a little while later. An’ then a soldier stuck a spear in The Messiah’s side and water and blood came out. When the spear went in, I heard’im scream what should have been a scream heard all over Judea!, but his voice was thick with pain and the scream a whisper. After a short while, He said real soft strainin’ his voice, ‘I am a-thirst,’ then another soldier ran and got him a sponge soaked in vinegar, but a'fore he could suck good on the sponge, I heard him say, “It is finished.” And he died. 

Seven hours is a long time to hang nailed to a rough wood cross. 

I heard a soldier say that this Rabbi Yeshua, My Messiah, was truly the Son of God. And then I knowed -- I knowed for sure I was forgiven an’ I was gonna see my Lord in Paradise! 

An’ then it was my turn. In my head, my face was smilin’; I had spoken with the Son of God – the Son of God!! uhg! the soldiers broke my legs, then the world around me became dim, dim, then dark.

Seven hours is a long time to hang on a rough wood cross. But, 

Paradise is forever! 

                                                               ~The beginning~

                    ~by an unnamed thief at Calgary in Judea circa AD 31~

How Are You?

 Who knew that an honest answer could elicit a tongue lashing? One that leaves the recipient stunned?

Attending an event to which church leaders were invited, I met a number of pastors and ministers from around the region. Some I only knew by 'face', and others whose name I knew but not the face. I like meeting new people - especially persons who attend churches different from mine (as well as those God brings me to). Yet, that day, I was introduced to a minister I had seen various times and was encouraged to know that she had received 'clergy' status and was the lead minister of a church of the denomination to which I belonged. 

She asked me, "How are you?" I responded with my usual concise, "I'm well enough! And you?" Instead of sharing her present state of being, she lashed out at me because I said I'm well enough. She expressed that such an answer was a slur on God, who has given me life, who has been my God and Father, and on and on and on. To be honest, my first thought was that she missed an important class in seminary on listening to the heart and not just the words. But then I felt bad for her for she was clearly holding on to something deep inside. As she self-righteously stomped off after 'putting me in my place' and has kind of snubbed or treated me as if I were less than or semi-antichrist or something whenever we pass each other at events, I have not been able to actually get a moment with her to help her understand why I answered as I did. She is in a hurry. She's never asked me for an explanation. Hmmm. So I pray for her.

But, if she had, or if she could stop long enough for me to share with her, she might comprehend why I responded to her "How are you?" as I did. I was not slurring God nor misrepresenting Him. In truth, I was without her realizing it, giving God the glory. To the indiscernible my simple "well enough" apparently requires some further explanation. Apparently.

I have lived through many episodes and years where I was not well physically in a number of ways (that is still the case), one-half inch close to a full-on nervous breakdown. I was in a place where I harbored murderous thoughts (before Jesus called me), in a time when I was spiritually in a coma, and many other awful things that would shock in their revelation. Following the world as I was, I thought I could deliver myself through the latest panaceas going around. 

Until, like Balaam, the donkey stopped. 

Despite my own self-deception, I could not save myself from those situations, and many a day I did not even want to try. But God! In His time and Providence, He called me from the ashes, He lifted me up and raised me to life in Christ! Even after living more than half my life in a spiritually deeply comatose condition, God called me in the dawn of my senior years. He claimed me. I was made anew spiritually and will probably still endure that struggle with the agony of the flesh as long as I live in this earthly body. I know from whence my help comes. Even when my G.I. and/or neural disorders are at their peak and I want to scream in pain or writhe in agony, I know He walks with me. I am well enough because I know this is not forever, but each day God makes me well enough to serve Him in some way, and to do His will even in a broken body and scarred heart, mind and psyche. He makes me well enough so that even in searing pain, and weak moments of sliding into self-pity, He gives me grace to 'stand' and do His will. He makes me well enough to have His joy and love in my life. He makes me well enough to walk and move - even if it is a struggle. He makes me well enough so that I can thank Him in all things because I know this is not my future. He makes me well enough to remember how Jesus brutally suffered so that He could bring me to His Father. So, I am well enough because my God gives me power and the strength of His grace while I live with the thorn 'embedded in my side.' I can do all things because God lives in me. I am well enough because He has given me more love, more mercy, and more grace than I ever deserved. I have never forgotten when 'well', let alone 'well enough' would not have been the truth about who I was and what I was and where I was. And, yes, like with Paul and with David, God will allow those whom He loves to experience times, maybe even seasons, of pain and fear. Not because He hates us or is oblivious, but because He knows us better than we know ourselves. He allows the pain because with each prick, jab, and lightning bolt, I draw closer to Him and praise Him with words and song because He inhabits the praise of His people and I keep praising Him, and ask for forgiveness when I feel myself starting to open my mouth in complaint. Paul calls it a "temporary affliction" and rightly so. And I immediately impress those words on myself over and over again - especially when the Excedrin or other pain killer will not work, nor the anointed oil. God just wants me as I am in my rawness so that He can comfort me, He can ease the pain, He can put the smile on my face while the tears roll down my cheeks. So that He can give me glimpses of heaven as He holds me close. 

I am well enough because of Him! Only because of Him.

Because He loves me beyond what I can hope, think or imagine, I am well enough. No longer condemned. No longer ashamed. No longer a captive to the effects of sin in and on my body. I am well enough by His grace. Someday, when I transition to the glorious body that awaits me, I will transition to the promise of a perfect body and perfect heart. O what a Savior who holds me in my brokenness, and will someday soon (comparatively) hold my hand and lead me to the perfect place He has planned for me from before the foundation of the world! Lord, I have seen thy salvation!  

So, when I answer with a politely concise, "I am well enough," please stop long enough and ask me what do I mean. I will then share the Gospel with you as I explain why I am now well enough. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!

Blessed Are The Merciful, For They Will Receive Mercy

 

 

Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. What is this mercy? It is critical for us to know what it is since Jesus desires us to have mercy (Matthew 9:13 (Jesus was quoting from Hosea 6:6)). It is forgiving one another (and yourself), i.e., not seeking retaliation for the harm done to you by another. It also refers to compassion we feel for others who are weak, poor, ill, anxious, and in other ways disadvantaged. Also would include the “outcasts” of society who, either through fault or no fault of their own are “disconnected” to the greater community. In some versions of the Bible, mercy is also translated as lovingkindness, an apt description. While the Bible is replete with examples of God’s mercy to the nation of Israel and surrounding nations, among others, our greatest example of mercy extended to others is that of God’s mercy in Christ, even though we cannot fully comprehend this mercy of God. The reason is because we cannot comprehend how God views sin: to Him, sin is abominable, He hates sin because of what it does to those He created in His image; He knows that in addition to separating us from Him, sin has the effects of destroying our bodies with each succeeding generation, making us weak and helpless against its ravages; He knows that sin always results in death. We are born with death already in us because of sin. We are sinners – no matter how “nice” we may seem. Even in the face of such inborn rejection, even though we are sinners, God still loves us so much as to send His own Son to live as a human and to become the only option for removing the penalty of sin. Jesus’ single sacrifice for all sin, the basis for restoration with God, is an undeserved mercy and forgiveness. God’s example lets us know that we, too, are responsible and accountable to God for the mercy we show or do not show to others. Do we forgive others who violate us or otherwise hurt us? Forgiveness is not easy, as our own inborn sin rebels against forgiving and forgiveness because we want to get even and make the offenders suffer. We sometimes even feel that foregiveness of one's sins against us leaves us damaged and scarred, vulnerable and humiliated. Actually, not forgiving does more harm to us; the bitterness against that person can produce murderous thoughts - ask me how I know - and can bring a stress that wears on your body and emotions. Our bitterness makes us vulnerable to more bitterness because we a duped into thinking that our bitterness is control over our circumstances. Bitterness exacerbates the wound inflicted upon us so that it scars us emotionally; the more we feed into it, the deeper and wider the scar becomes; the scar cannot heal over because the bitterness continues to ooze into it. We are duped to think that being a person who forgives is humiliating - that it weakens our stance before others. If and when we understand that forgiveness means to surrender our desire to get even and make payback happen, we begin to understand the power of God that enables us to forgive. That God will gladly make His Spirit abound in us so that we will have the forward-facing will and desire to forgive. Our forgiveness takes us out of bitterness' imprisonment, frees us to thrive knowing that our Heavenly Father will even more freely forgive us for our messing up. 

Mercy is a high bar; the opposite of mercy is unforgiveness and wrath. We cannot receive mercy if we choose not to forgive. Jesus actually commands us to be merciful as recorded in Luke 6:35-36, that we may look like children of our Heavenly Father. God is so willing to pour out mercies on us; in fact, His mercies to us are fresh each morning! (Lamentations 3:22-23) Because Jesus is Light, He tells us that we must be light also. We show this light when we are merciful to others. (John 8:12; Matthew 5:14; Ephesians 5:8

Explore

1.  Can you name a mercy that God has recently extended to you? How did it make you feel?

2.  Can you remember a time when it was very difficult to extend mercy to a particular person or persons? What made it difficult for you?

3.  Given all you have read about mercy and the One who extends it, what do you think it means to “walk in the light”?


Bonus: "Mercy" - Elevation Worship and Maverick City

Blessed Are The Meek, For They Will Inherit The Earth

 

 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Some   interpret the meekness mentioned here as “when we act like doormats; or, to feel insignificant and without value.” That is not what Jesus is referring to here. The Greek root word for meek used here is also the same one Jesus uses to refer to Himself in Matthew 11:29, namely, humility, gentleness and forgiving; He is our greatest example of what meekness looks like, our greatest example of humility, gentleness and forgiveness, and mercy. Do you think of Jesus as a doormat?  This meekness is not weakness; it is a fruit of the Spirit that we are to cultivate – imitating Jesus’ gentleness and forgiveness; growing in humility. It takes Divine strength to be meek and humble in a self-absorbed and ego-driven culture. Why? Because we are made weak by Adam’s sin in us, and because we live in satan’s evil world. God plants in His redeemed children the ability to become gentle through the power of the Holy Spirit in us - surrendering to His work, He teaches us to forgive like Christ – even forgive those who mistreat us. We let our gentleness grow by applying God’s Spirit-wrapped Word in study and meditation, allowing it to shape our prayers and perspectives (Colossians 3:16). It is by allowing the Spirit of God to transform our prideful hearts into hearts that are humble, for the proud will not inherit God’s kingdom, they will not inherit the earth; we are blessed to be God’s children (James 4:6-7; Luke 18:16-17)! That the meek shall inherit the earth carries a couple of meanings: through God’s grace we become His children when we repent of our rejection of Jesus, return and receive His eternal Spirit within us; we are adopted by God. As His children, we are heirs. We inherit what the Father has. He tells us at Psalm 24:1 that “the earth is the LORD’s and all that is in it.” We also can add to that the fact that in becoming God’s children through the Blood of Christ and the Holy Spirit, we become regenerated here on earth into a new life with Christ and enter into God’s kingdom here on earth. He re-sets us towards becoming the rightful stewards of creation as He intended, and thus joint heirs. (Genesis 1:26-28; Titus 3:6-7; Revelation 5:9-10)

Explore

1.     Is it hard or easy for you to be gentle and forgiving? Give a reason for your answer.

2.     In the coming days and weeks, how might you act gentle, kind, and forgiving to family, school or work mates, friends?

3.     Imitating Jesus. Do you know someone who imitates Jesus’ gentleness and kindness that you would like to imitate? Without naming the individual(s), give an example of their gentleness.

4.     How meaningful is it for you, personally, that the meek will inherit the earth?


Double bonus: "I Get on My Knees," Nicole Mullen; "Known", Tauren Wells

Blessed are Those Who Mourn, for They Will Be Comforted

 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. The word translated “mourn” here means a deep grieving. It is true that God is a God of comfort to those who mourn the death of a loved one or lost relationship (2 Corinthians 1:3-5), and that God’s comfort surpasses any other, as we know that all perfect healing will happen in heaven. Yet, the inference here in this beatitude  goes beyond even that. It is one of deeply grieving our sins that have separated us from God, so the translation from Greek would be “Blessed are those who deeply grieve their sins that have separated them from God.”  As Ephesians 2:1-2 indicates, before our surrendering our lives to God, we were like “dead men/dead people walking” - we had no way to rectify that situation on our own. We were helpless. We rejected Jesus, and so lived and walked in the darkness of the world under the power of satan. (Romans 1:20-22; Ephesians 5:8) The ruler of this world – satan – is doing everything he can to keep us away from the only true God. Yet, by God’s amazing grace, God reaches down through all eternity to call us out of the mire of sin and darkness. God the Holy Spirit prods us and pings us, even allowing us to make choices that will bring despair or suffer troubles if we don’t immediately respond to His call, so that we can call out to Him and seek His face. The Holy Spirit pursues us – like the Father in  Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son, so that, by God’s grace, at some point we, too, may respond to the Spirit, falling down on the rock and hard place of sin and grieving the mess we’ve made by rejecting all God has done in Christ for us. The Spirit delights when we respond to His insistent call to us to “wake up” and to lament our sins – both “gross” and “respectable”. To recognize that the only source of release from the captivity and oppression of sin and its penalty – eternal death – is through faith in Jesus Christ. Paul, in his letter to the church at Corinth, refers to this recognition as “godly sorrow” – a sorrow or mourning generated through the Spirit’s prodding that leads us to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10). In response to our grieving and repentance, God forgives us, surrounds us with His comfort, pouring out His grace on us and His Spirit into us. We receive the bounty of blessings – entrance into forever relationship with God, finding our true comfort—our peace -- in Christ, and in knowing that because of what He did at the cross, God has guaranteed our eternity with Him, and that He will lavish His love, grace, and mercy upon us (Ephesians 1:3-14). Have we mourned our sins? Do we mourn the sins that still befall us even though we are saved? It is never too early or too late to do so.

Explore

·       Do you remember a time when you grieved the loss of something or someone? How did that make you feel? Did you cry?

·       Why do you think that Jesus wants us to mourn our sinfulness? What might mourning the sinfulness of rejection of Jesus look like?

·       Is Jesus’ blessing of peace enough for you? Why do you answer that way?

Bonus: "Forgive Me, Lord, For I Have Sinned", Nathan Surgenor

Letting Go of What We Know to Step Into the Unknown By Faith - Part 2

We return to our journey with Luke and the disciples as they follow Jesus. Luke next records in chapter 8 other events that would, indeed, necessitate a faith from God to understand. 

After crossing the lake, Jesus and the disciples arrive at the country of Gadarenes in the south and southeast and, as they go on shore at the place Jesus tells them to dock, they are met by a dreadful sight - a naked man, crazed by demon possession, grimy, bruises over his body, face twisted, eyes that looked like they were being strained open and bulging, sweating, raging with ungodly sounds, feet blistered, ankles having the remnants of broken chains. Luke gives us a bit of background about this man - that for a goodly amount of time in this man's life he had been indwelt by demons, who took control over the man's life and being, breaking restraints that city officials had installed to keep him from doing harm to others. The demonic possession made it impossible for him to live in society - the demons drove him to despair and isolation, and to dwelling in the tombs near the sea waters of that area. The demons - alerted to the fact that the Son of God was in their midst - forced the man forward to where Jesus was; they were afraid of what Jesus would do to them because they knew who He truly was. (Can you imagine what the disciples were doing at this instant? Were they like the people of the city scared out their wits, and going to the safety of the boat, or finding this man's dilemma a source of crude entertainment? They had only hours before saw another dimension to this rabbi - that He had control over 'nature', but this situation - inflamed by demonic madness - could have left them doubting as what Jesus would do or could do.)  Jesus commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man and asks the demon his name. The demon says "Legion" because there are so many in and with him. The demons beg Jesus not to put them into the abyss (for they knew what their ultimate fate was to be); Jesus sends them into a herd of unclean animals and they drive the animals into the sea and drown them. Upon learning of what happened, the people of the city came out to where Jesus was to see with their own eyes the 'crazy demon man' no longer inhabited by the destructive demons, but dressed and calm. The people are seized with fear because of the power of Christ (flashback to when the Israelites were fearful of Moses after His encounter with God on the mountain), about what His presence could do to their way of life, and, therefore, strongly tell Jesus to leave! As Jesus and the disciples leave, the now delivered man asks to go with them, but Jesus tells him to stay and tell all the people what God has done for him. Then Luke says that the man went about telling everyone all Jesus had done for him. He had not only seen - he had experienced the faithfulness of God.

Upon their return to Galilee, a crowd welcomes Jesus and the disciples, and we reach a compelling pinnacle in Jesus' travels in this chapter of Luke. A man named Jairus who was a leader of the local synagogue reaches Jesus and falls at His feet, begging Him for the life of his daughter who was ill unto death. (picture the scene - a respected leader of the synagogue, in his fine robes, falls to the ground at Jesus feet; his actions illumine for any paying attention, that this Jesus was from God, a special prophet unlike any they would have known) Jesus accompanies the man as they make their way through the crowds, but the crowds are dense and Jesus and the man and the disciples are bumped about in a stop and slow-go motion as they determinedly make their way forward. And then it happens, right in the middle of Jesus' slowly moving through the crowd. "As he went, the crowds pressed in on him. Now there was a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years; and though she had spent all she had on physicians, no one could cure her. She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his clothes, and immediately her hemorrhage stopped. Then Jesus asked, “Who touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds surround you and press in on you.” But Jesus said, “Someone touched me; for I noticed that power had gone out from me.” When the woman saw that she could not remain hidden, she came trembling; and falling down before him, she declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

Strict observation of Jewish Law and interpretations by the Jewish priesthood would make them aware of the scriptural backdrop to this story. In the Law of Moses, a woman's menses were considered unclean because of the flow of blood. Leviticus 15, beginning at verse 19 presents the ritual she had to pursue: ritual washing of anything on which she sits and sleeps; those touching anything on which she sits or sleeps - even her clothes - would render them unclean as well. That she had this flow of blood beyond her menses for twelve years would have made her living in society impossible. Laundry day would be every single day. She would have been isolated to a great degree because she could not visit and sit on their divans, and there was always a possibility of blood leaking past her efforts to contain it. As one faithful to the law, she was both compliant and trapped by its regulations because of her unique situation, and yet she persevered to obey - keeping herself 'socially distant', which was not an easy task in a village or community. 

We are not told how much adherence to this law impacted her 'norm', e.g., how did she obtain items from market? How did she maintain her house? Did the physicians come her door and drop off some compounds or other remedies in front of it, being careful to be contactless? How did she or could she bring her sacrifices to the priest? Her condition would have kept suitors away - a husband and family was beyond her hopes now. Can you imagine living in a small town or village, being sick or potentially always on the verge of making others unclean before God, so that you are prevented from interacting with others in any meaningful way? (Of course you don't have to think hard about that: we've been through some highly difficult months of isolation and limited socializing. Multiply that by 12 years in the same place.) 

Her prayers for twelve years had been seeking God's healing and blessing, perhaps for God to send a special prophet as He had done through Elijah and Elisha to provide such healing. To remove this curse from her. Perhaps she had prayed Psalm 3:8, Psalm 4:6, especially Psalm 5:3. Maybe even Psalm 51. Perhaps all of the deliverance prayers she had learned of in holy scripture.  But her pleas were seemingly answered by silence. She sought out physicians who claimed to have a remedy, but all of them failed - so much so that she was financially spent seeking a cure. She could not puzzle out why her obedience to the law had not resulted in deliverance by now, or even an easing of her dilemma. Even the priests were not able to heal her, even though she may have been able to presented an offering to the priest for forgiveness of sins and God's favor. So this woman, for twelve years, having once long ago known the freedom of living under the law, now lived captive to the impact of Adam's sin in her body and restrained by that same law to living an imprisonment and captivity that no one could save her from. 

And then she heard about Jesus - the Great Prophet and Healer. Still, she was caught in a cycle of doing the 'right thing' and believing her righteousness would result in a deliverance. That God would be so pleased and moved by her faithful self-imprisonment, and gradual impoverishment as a result of legal obedience, that He would release her from her circumstance. Then she learned that Jesus had left Galilee. Had her hopes become so narrowed, her commitment to 'play by the rules' her focus, that she had missed what could have been God's answer to her years of difficulties and pain?

Did her prayers now change? Did she now pray, 'God - if you would have me step out of all I have known for these many years to risk it all, please give me a new kind of faith to do it. O God, please let me see Jesus!' 

Was God moving her in this new hope? Yes! She dared to believe that God would answer her twelve years of prayer, her twelve years of isolation and shame, her twelve years of being faithful, her twelve years of hoping against hope. That in this Great Prophet and Healer, in Jesus God would answer her. O God! She felt a new hope rising in her. But - and for her this was a big 'BUT' - in order to see her Deliverer, to receive His healing, she would need to step out in faith, literally - leaving her hiding place to stand in the brightness of the day. 

She had to seek and believe God's mercy. She had to leave the legalities of restraints in the law and of the priests, and step out in faith trusting in God's grace and mercy that were inherent in the law but not often taught (see Matthew 12:6-8). She had to let go of her rigidity of following the rules, of the fear and shame that narrowed her vision and thinking, and which kept her isolated and stuck on that expectation. She had to listen to what God was offering to her - something far beyond what she thought was the correct thing to do, and to actuate the faith God had sprouted in her. She had to seek Jesus at all risks to herself and her future in that place. So, determined, yet with fear and trembling, she clothes herself to obscure her identity (not realizing possibly until later that God's hand of protection clothed her) and skulks through the crowd - afraid that at any minute someone will recognize her and thus block her way to her Savior. And then she sees Him! She sees Him! She moves stealthily, and ever so carefully, but with an increasing urgency as she inches towards Him. She reaches out, straining to get near enough to the Great One and, finally, her hand touches His robe. And right there, right there in the middle of the noisy crowd a silent peace comes over her as she feels the healing taking place inside her body. A glorious warmth envelops her and she is filled to overflowing with gratefulness and joy as twelve years of strain leave her, replaced by a feeling of wholeness that she had not felt in so long, and of a Godly love that takes her by surprise. Then the silence is broken by His voice. "Who touched me?" The fear and trembling return - He knows what I have done! He knows that this unclean, unworthy woman has touched his garment and received His holy power in her inmost parts! It had been a glorious moment, one that would never leave her memory. Even if it was to be temporary, if He removes the miracle she just experienced, she will understand she tells herself. I haven't done anything for Him, so why should He allow me to keep this gift? Yet, He is now calling for her, He is now seeking her! He says, "someone has touched me because I felt my power leaving me." She did not know emotionally and spiritually until that moment that this Great Healer is the Anointed One. She would not know yet that her illness and suffering had been a gift, a sacred instrument, that had been planned for her from before time, that God's timing of her encounter with Jesus was intentional, and that her unique deliverance divine, and salvation came by God's grace. Jesus came back to Galilee for her and for those whom the Father had foreordained. That even while she suffered all of those years, God was moving heaven and earth to bring her to this point in time, to a point in her life that she would step into the unknown by the saving faith that God would give her. A faith she had received from God to risk what she thought had been the reasonable thing to do because she had done it for so long, that the possible reward of healing had become of more importance to her than the Healer, and to let that go so that she could, even with fear and trembling come to Jesus with a faith that saw who He was. 

Thus, feeling a courage that she didn't know could be in her, with all fear and trembling she comes up to the Master and falls at His feet, sobbing with a heart full of gratefulness and thanksgiving, in a flood of tears prostrate before Him in all humility, she publicly confesses her identity and what she had done to Jesus, at first expecting to be reprimanded, or even worse, for Him to take back His healing. But then, she heard Jesus' compassionate voice, His comforting words, wrapped in divine love that shattered the fear and dimmed the years of pain - calling her Daughter, and telling her that it is because of her faith she was healed. Jesus did not say that her gift of healing was due to her twelve years of prayer focused on the reward of following the law was what healed her, He tells her it is her faith, a trusting faith in God and not in rewards. That the God-Man Jesus, had not only healed her condition - He had changed her heart and the course of her life and blessed her with a faith that would be enduring and based on grace and not the false precepts that the religious establishment had tacked onto God's covenant law with Israel that eroded faith in God.

She acted on the gift of faith from God. It had been a long, debilitating twelve years, she had exhausted her finances and her spirit looking for the reward, yet somehow continued to wait on the Lord - even if from the wrong perspective. In His grace and in His timing He gifted her with the faith and confidence to trust and let go, and step out into the unknown in a new revitalized faith, based on belief and trust in God's Son Jesus, on His love, mercy and grace. She looked up at Jesus in deepest gratitude and awe, words hardly coming from her mouth. She looked into His eyes and saw the face of God.  

After blessing the woman, Jesus continues with Jairus despite their receiving the message that his daughter had died. Jairus, dejected by the news, hears Jesus tell him, “Do not fear. Only believe, and she will be saved.” In his mind and heart no doubt Jairus was at a crossroads - how can she be saved? She is dead. Yet, I will believe. And Jairus takes Jesus home with him. The mourners were already gathered for the bereavement rituals. Jairus wife was probably inconsolable, and upon seeing Jairus may have said, why did you trouble the teacher, our daughter is dead. The community has begun gathering outside here. Jesus tells the parents in the hearing of those present at the house that the young girl is just 'sleeping', and the people who had seen the girl die, nervously laughed at such a supposition. The door of the house closes leaving the mourners outside, and Jesus takes into the house Peter, John, and James, and the father and mother. The parents look to this God-Man and Great Healer, in faith as He touches the dead child's hand and says "Child, get up!" (a touch that would have rendered Him unclean under the law). Jesus speaks life back into her body to the astoundment of all, the parents awestruck yet filled with thanksgiving and so lost in the moment of this miracle, Jesus needs to instruct them to give her something to eat, to rejoice because they did believe, and their faith by God's grace, changed the direction of their lives in those few moments.

It does take faith to step into the unknown. We sometimes stick with what seems the reasonable thing to do, looking at those material supports that a reasonable person would look at. Praying for miracles and stymied by human reason, we cannot see the miracle that is already there. We are sometimes called in difficult and trying circumstances to let go of what we know - of what our reason tells us is the right thing to do, and to trust God in a different way. That new faith and trust takes us into the unknown, into the unseen, where God is free to execute His plan for us. It is in that unseen and unknown place where the faith in God and from God brings true victory.

What He has planned for us is sometimes waylaid because we are confusing and fusing trust in God with our own human reasoning. Look at Abram and Sarai. God had promised them a son, an heir, through whom God would bless all peoples. Well, they waited, and they waited, and finally reasoned that such a thing would happen if we pay it forward and have a child through a young female slave so that God's blessings can come to fruition. Yet the stepping out in reason led to unforeseen difficulties, a disruption in the household, and bitterness - a rift between two peoples that continues even unto this day. Yet God, who does not promise and not fulfill, places a new covenant between Himself and Abraham, a new faith to believe that Abraham's wife Sarah would become pregnant and bear the true child of promise. That through that child a there would be one born who would have the power and authority to bless the world. That child would be the Author and Perfector of our faith who tells us to lay down all those self-imposed things and human reasoning as supports and lean on Him instead. Listen to Him for He alone can open doors that no one can shut.

 

Our Jealous God

"Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God."
(Exodus 34:14)

As humans, we often experience a jealousy that is tainted with an unreasonable and suffocating expression of emotion by another over our self/person. Or, we may be the one who obsesses to a level of madness that grips us like a spell that cannot be broken. We have read about so-called 'love' relationships where a partner says he or she loves the other but it is a selfish, obsessive driving emotion that seeks to control and dominate in such a way that it edges onto or crosses the border of sanity. While we would like to think that this is 'love' at its most passionate expression, it is not. The One who created love says this about what true love is: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)

Too often, this jealous madness that is obsessed with controlling and dominating the other person results in harm to the other and/or to those perceived to be encroaching on the jealous one's turf - a harm that potentially becomes deadly. The song of the jealous is, "if I can't have you no one will." 

I have been in such a relationship. 

My then husband more than once threatened my life at gunpoint and took our children hundreds of miles away as leverage. When a person is victimized to such an extent, you experience your own type of madness; your reasoning becomes warped. You walk in fear and shame - especially when the outbursts and threats become public and/or on your job. I was asked to leave my employment because of the risk to other employees. I felt like less than nothing at that point. While he claimed to be religious, and put on a religious face when attending services or around members of the church, his obsessive jealousy and need for control over me was exhibited behind closed doors. He had no fear of God in his heart. His kidnapping of the children, and unrelenting search to find me after I escaped his terror shattered every aspect of my life, estranged me from my family as I did not want to put them in jeopardy. Yet, ironically, they would distance themselves from me because of the shame I had brought on them, as I became known in all our circles as the one being chased from place to place by a crazed husband.  One day he found a way to contact me because he had won the lottery but, due to state law, had to share it with me as we were still legally married. I bargained with him for the children, telling him to keep the money and let me have the children. He signed them over to me for money. We fled immediately hundreds of miles in the other direction. Jealousy clothed with the label of  "Love" was spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically damaging so much so that only a merciful God could repair what was broken, distorted, and restore my scarred my relationship with Him. He had to teach me to forgive. He had to teach me perfect love.

Jealousy that leads to strong desire to control and manipulate others is a product of our sinful nature that we inherited from Adam. God created humankind in His image; our sin mars that image, damages our personhoods, minds, souls, bodies. Sin destroys relationship with God. Our inherited sin - aided and abetted by the evil one and the moral and spiritual darkness of his evil world system - impairs our ability to perfectly express anger or jealousy. We have no pure starting point within our natural selves to provide the perfect expression of such powerful emotion. Our human anger and jealousy has no righteousness attached to it because it emanates from a place of damage and brokeness. Within our human power, we cannot even love as we ought. Within our natural selves, this lack is a critical and chronic disability that is also self-deceiving - it permeates all we do. Because our natural selves suffer in that way, when we come across a scripture like the Exodus passage quoted above, or Deuteronomy 4:24, or 1 Corinthians 10:22, we are challenged in our sin-shaped hearts and minds to understand this jealousy of God - which is a perfect expression and sovereign right.

To be honest, from a spiritual standpoint, I know for a certainty that God's jealousy is beyond my comprehension. There was a time when that lack of 'sight' was a struggle because I lived by logic. Logic can sometimes get in the way of faith, as I had to learn. Awareness of God those aspects and attributes of God's character that I cannot fully comprehend is a reason to rejoice because why would I want a God I can control and manipulate? No, instead of dampening my faith, I more and more desire for it to be stronger so that even though I cannot comprehend every iota of knowledge about our Almighty God, my growing faith becomes growing trust in Him, gratitude for His perfect jealousy over what belongs to Him. That includes me.

How must we look at this part of God's character from a Biblical viewpoint - how He has revealed Himself in scripture?

• God's perfect jealousy is based in His holiness. He is Adonai ha'Elohim Hakkadosh - the Lord the Holy One. As sinful humans, we are unable to fully grasp the Holiness of God. It is like asking a person blind from birth to describe the sunrise or sunset, or the colors of the rainbow. -Joshua 24:19; 1 Samuel 2:2
• God's perfect jealousy is based in His justice - no jurist in the flesh can render up decisions in their repertoire of law and principle that can compare to the depths of God's justice. He is Yahweh Tsidkenu - LORD our Righteousness and Elohei Misphat (God of Just/Righteous Law). His law is perfect, His judgments are always right. -Deuteronomy 10:17-19; Isaiah 5:16
• God's perfect jealousy is based in His being El Olam - the Everlasting God. the Ever-Present God Who Dwells in the Eternal Present. He owns time. As owner and Creator of time, God has the sole right to use it as He sees fit. -Psalm 90; Colossians 1:15-17
• God's perfect jealousy is based in His being a Creator God, Elohim, The Hashem - the Great I AM WHO I AM. God owns all that He created, He has invested in us beyond our comprehension. He is our El Shaddai - our All-Sufficient Sustainer God. He has always been the Potter to our being the clay - what say do we have in what He does? -Exodus 3:14; Romans 9:20-22; Psalm 104
• God's perfect jealousy is based in His Almighty Power and Wisdom. There is no God of Power like our God. His Wisdom exceeds all the brightest 'geniuses' ever born all together. In His perfect expression of jealousy for His people, God will execute His wrath against those who desire to harm them.  -Daniel 2:20; Jeremiah 10:6; Revelation 1:7-8; Jeremiah 51:15
• God's perfect jealousy is based in His perfect love - a covenant love (Hesed) that is also sacrificial (Ahavah, Agape).  -Psalm 103:17; John 3:16-17; 1 John 4:9-10  This is not a love that we can grasp because that was destroyed by Adam's sin in us: we cannot grasp it nor express it in our human capacity. We must let the Holy Spirit create within us the love reflective of God.
• Finally (at least on this list instant), God's perfect jealousy is based in His Sovereignty. He owns all things. He controls the heavens and the earth, yet He has given His created beings the freedom to choose between His Sovereignty or theirs. (And we so deceive ourselves into thinking our choice of self-lordship is going to have a different result than it had for a perfect man and woman.) He is the author of all things, the beginning and the end, the first and the last. We cannot live for a moment if God removed all oxygen from us, and yet we presume to know better than He. As Sovereign, God has the right to act, choose, give or take away, create or destroy. This perfect rightness can often ring unfair in a nonbeliever's ear, for he or she has never known a righteous, perfect Creator and Owner; his or her experience and knowledge, or lack thereof, cannot bring him or her to comprehend that kind of Sovereignty that emanates from the love described above. He has the right to set destinies, to save whom He chooses, and allow the hearts of others to harden against Him. This question of Sovereignty has been raised against God for eons, and this challenge is eloquently described in Isaiah 40-44 and elsewhere in God's testimony as recorded in Isaiah. The book opens with a declaration of Sovereignty in chapter 1 of Isaiah where the LORD God describes the wickedness and rebellion of the people against His Lordship, in verses 23-24 He says: "Your princes are rebels and companions of thieves. Everyone loves a bribe and runs after gifts. They do not defend the orphan, and the widow’s cause does not come before them. Therefore says the Sovereign, the Lord of hosts, the Mighty One of Israel: Ah, I will pour out my wrath on my enemies, and avenge myself on my foes!" God our Sovereign reserves the exclusive, absolute right to be worshiped - on this point there is no gray area. -Psalm 8:1, 9; Daniel 4:2-3; 1 Timothy 6:15; Psalm 24:1-2; Isaiah 66:1; Deuteronomy 5:9; Deuteronomy 10:20; Romans 1:18-25  

The foregoing is but a glimpse into the perfect holiness and righteousness of the Only True God, a perfection that is expressed through a jealousy that we cannot understand, but which acts in agape love - a sacrificial love - for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. He desires the best for His people, and places a guardrail and hedge of jealousy around them. He has vowed to never leave nor forsake them, to not let them be snatched from His hand by the enemy. God's people are His possession because He created them to become His people through the poured-out sacrificial blood of Jesus. (Ephesians 1:6-7; Ephesians 2:12-14)

Our God of love, of Might, our Wise and All Knowing God wants our complete devotion - He deserves it! He is jealous for it! When our God Incarnate - the Son of God - walked on this earth, He constantly spoke to and taught such allegiance to God. "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." That we can serve only One master; that our God supplies all our needs when we put Him first in our lives. His beloved Sermon on the Mount overflows with admonition of relationship with God and how He would have us live. (Matthew 5-7) The parable of the prodigal recorded in Luke 15:11-32 illustrates God's love for us - that He does not force us into relationship with Him, that He is forgiving beyond our capacity to understand, that He desires our heart worship - our whole lives to be lived in Him and with Him; that to do so brings an inner joy unimaginable. His final earthly hours were filled with prayer and pleadings for all who would believe and obey, whose hearts were to be tied to His and to the Father, who would be one with Him and with the Father. (John 14 to 17) In Matthew 10, we hear Christ's strong implication of God's sovereign right of worship and devotion - His jealousy over His human creation - without using the word jealous. He spoke to the desire of the Father for our worship to be exclusive - not divided among other interests or gods. Christ's very presence as God in human form was to begin the gathering of those whom the Father, in His sovereign will, would set aside for salvation: His coming would set a sword, a plumb line, a line in the sand to separate those who would receive Christ and thus receive the Father and those who would choose to be their own lord or to worship the devil (as noted in scripture above - there are only 2 masters: God and the devil). He would anoint and appoint those that the Father would choose to serve Him and to carry out the work He began. In His last week on earth He foretold that there would come a time when He would, in God's righteous jealousy, His perfect love demonstrated, return for those whom He had chosen, who love Him with all their whole heart, mind, and soul, whose lives are committed to Him and are awaiting His return. That He would make known to all in an astounding set of events and acts His fierce love for those who love Him. (Matthew 24-25) O what a God! Isn't He wonderful! -Isaiah 25:19; Psalm 9:1.

Hallelujah! Praise our Jealous God who loves us with a fierce love of protection, of blessing, of provision of all things good and enduring. Who loves us forever and will never abandon those He loves. Who walks with us and lives in us. May we all cling to Him in this life and rejoice in His glorious and righteous jealousy in the life to come. Amen.