Forgiveness – My Story [Inspired by the crucifixion of Christ as told from the perspective of an unnamed thief circa 31AD]

      

Seven hours is a long time when you’re in trouble. 

I keep goin’ over this in my head ‘til it hurts – “how did I wind up here?” 

*Sigh*. I’m guessin' it started when I was a youth – I got mixed up with some fellows –one of’em was the son of my mother’s sister; they were bullies and stole stuff from people who were naki, real weak. It was scary first time, but when you poor and your pockets all of a sudden got coins in'em, the fear just goes away--like a scared bird--when you hear them coins clinkin' together - mmmh – you feel rich! But, uh, if I was gonna tell the truth – course not somethin’ I be sayin’ to my partners, I really was scared each time we stole stuff from people cuz I kept asking myself, how many more times can we get away with it? But later, when there wunt nothin’ to eat, hungry took over fear; no sech thing as free food. 

Ev'rythin' was goin' good enough...somedays you gettin' enough for some food and somedays you be gettin' enough for food and shoes, and even a decent robe! Then one day, this rich man who look like he was a lawyer or sumthin was gone on the road that goes from the Engedi in the wilderness all the way to Jerusalem and Samaria. You see, there’s this little spot on the road up between the mountains so travelers can’t see what’s in front of ‘em or behind’em. It’s real wind-ee, you know? So this rich lookin' ol’ man had a bunch-a bondsmen – so you know he had coin -  they went afore him with this noisy rattlin’ cart fulla loot; couldn’t hear much by that noise. Too many of’em to try to steal from that stash. But, when they gone afore enough so you couldn’t see’em and they couldn’t see you or them master, we made our move. One of our gang gagged the ol’ man an’ pull’him down off his donkey; you could hardly hear his little whine. The fellow what’s grab’him kept him down, while the rest of us pick’d his pockets an’ stole the purse hangin’ on the animal. When we got our plunder, the fellow who was holdin’ the ol’ man down told him not to make any noise or else… we ran back to the thicket where we been hiding. I was shaking ‘cuz we never in all the time we be doin’ this – we never hurt somebody to make’em bleed; I mean the ol’ man was alive but he was scared-er than me. Never been so scared in my life! This was the most hard we e’er done to somebody – they just usually throw their money at us and run. Now, I’m the one who runnin’. I also thinkin’ – when we first started working this shohd, this robbin’, we bein' just glad to get a coin here, a coin there, but, y’know, we was “lucky” – we got away erry time! An’ we stole from a lotta people. This one, this time though -- I swore on my father’s head this gone be my last time. We could sell alla stuff we had store, an I buried some coin for me when nobody lookin’. I beg’ the gang to lay low for a while ‘til this blew over. Are greedy leader  he laughed at me. He always greedy – we threw fists once ‘cuz he wanna take mos'of da plunder, but this time he says layin’ low might be a good idea. Says we won’t be stealing for a while. I liked the sound of that, and it made me feel good an' comfutable to hear'em say so. 

Well, he was right, but not the way I wanted him to be right. 

We made it to our reggla cave where we like tuh go ‘cuz it hides from the main road. But this time, some kind of way, they found us. Where’d we mess up? We tried runnin’, but the soldiers come up on us. Guess we muss’v  run outta  “luck.” Our leader and one of the other fellows tried  fightin’ their way out – I kept tellin’em to stop, stop man, then one of’em hit one-uh the soldiers and him an’ the leader tried gettin’ way to the wilderness; in the end, though, well--they didn’t make’it. I tried to bribe the soldiers with the purse – they like bribes, but they wont having' it today for some reason. The soldiers then tie' me up with leather straps and rough rope; they make me walk all da way to Jerusalem. I knew what was comin’. Jewish men never gets a fair trial no matter what. The Romans always wanted to make an example of criminals. Ha - muss’v been my turn.

Seven hours is a  l o n g  time. A long time. 

I got hanged onna stake next to two other fellows – one was a rebel who tried-duh get some other Jews to go up on the Roman governor. He be a thief too like me and he was very angry. The other man was this Rabbi I heard ‘bout – he been upsettin’ all da villages, and making the Pharisees mad. The soldiers ha'done a number on him – he was beat up bad, and looked like they tortured ‘im; he looked half dead. He really muss’v done somethin’ wrong for all that! The fellow on my other side started cursin’ him, callin’ him a blasphemer. An’ sayin’ he was God anna  new king! I tol’ the beaten up man “if yous a god, get us down offa these crosses!” I added my own cursin’ ‘cuz I was angry I got caught an’ now here I was. Hangin’ on a crossbeam. I asked him, “if you god then why you hangin’ on a crossbar like us? Why they treat you so bad? What kind of god are you?” Only, I wished right then he was God, ’cuz seven hours is a long time to hang on a crossbar ‘n’ stake.

The day wored on, an’ the sun’s heat made the air feel like it’s full of needles. The angry fellow kept on with his rilin' on the tortured man; kep’ callin’ him Yeshua, which kina made me laugh ‘cuz the name means “God saves.” Yeah, right. So I’s in and out of consciousness. But one of those times I start thinking about it -- then I 'emember seein’ this Yeshua walkin’ with a crowd some time afore all of this. . .hey! He’s da one that healed the lame man! That man’s legs were all messed up – he’s always beggin. I’s on the edge of the crowd but I saw most of it with my own eyes. Thought it was a scam though… It was hard to remember who this Rabbi was ‘cuz I mean his face so messed up. An’ I heard him mumblin’ words I just barely make out over the angry fellow’s yellin’ – like, he was talkin’ to somebody and tellin’em that the people should be forgiven. 

Seven hours is a long time to hang on a crossbar and stake… 

So I come to ag’n. Angry fellow looked all used up. The Rabbi, Yeshua, was really lookin' bad and in lotsa pain. But his words—his words about forgiveness was still ringin’ in my ears – I saw what he done; I was even one of the people that the wild man John baptized. For repentance. I, I remembered seein’ Yeshua near the river one day and the wild man John said that Yeshua was the Lamb of God that takes away the sins of the world. Someone even said that He was The Messiah!! Was it true? Could it be true? I prayed for the first time in a long while that it could be true an’ that I was next to somethin’ or somebody divine. 

I was in the seventh hour on this cross and know’d my life would soon be over... 

Then Angry fellow woke up and tried to yell at Yeshua again—pantin’ with each word. With the little bit of force I had left I told angry man “to stop cuz this man, Yeshua, is innocent. We’a payin’ for our sins, but this man he’s not sinned.” I heard myself say those words like an echo. Was I still alive, then? I looked up, then the Rabbi Yeshua looked at me with eyes that seem to look all the way into my soul.  An' I felt somethin' like I nevah be feelin' before. I felt peace!  There was something ‘bout them eyes. 

With slow breaths I ask the Rabbi, the Messiah: ‘Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” And the Lord, the Lamb, hangin’ next to me, and still lookin’ in my eyes said, “Truly I will remember you and you will be with me in Paradise.” 

I was forgiven! I am forgiven! I wanted to shout it out loud, but it came out in gasps. I prayed to God in heaven “toda, thank you” and tol’ the Rabbi, The Messiah Yeshua, with tears in my eyes, “toda , toda,” and I wont sure why; I just knew inside somethin’ had happened I didn’t deserve. 

See: seven hours is a long time to hang on a crossbar ‘gainst a rough wood stake only knowin’ ‘til right now, my last hour, my life had no meaning. This seventh hour changed everything—I was forgiven by Him.

Then the soldiers broke Angry man’s legs and he cried out loud cursin’ the emperor; he died just a little while later. An’ then a soldier stuck a spear in The Messiah’s side and water and blood came out. When the spear went in, I heard’im scream what should have been a scream heard all over Judea!, but his voice was thick with pain and the scream a whisper. After a short while, He said real soft strainin’ his voice, ‘I am a-thirst,’ then another soldier ran and got him a sponge soaked in vinegar, but a'fore he could suck good on the sponge, I heard him say, “It is finished.” And he died. 

Seven hours is a long time to hang nailed to a rough wood cross. 

I heard a soldier say that this Rabbi Yeshua, My Messiah, was truly the Son of God. And then I knowed -- I knowed for sure I was forgiven an’ I was gonna see my Lord in Paradise! 

An’ then it was my turn. In my head, my face was smilin’; I had spoken with the Son of God – the Son of God!! uhg! the soldiers broke my legs, then the world around me became dim, dim, then dark.

Seven hours is a long time to hang on a rough wood cross. But, 

Paradise is forever! 

                                                               ~The beginning~

                    ~by an unnamed thief at Calgary in Judea circa AD 31~

PRIDE - The Invisible Trap

[Following is a sermon I preached August 2022. The actual delivery may have been altered - which is what happens when the Holy Spirit is directing!]

The Anglican Pentecost Lectionary cycles present lessons and readings that go to the heart of Biblical doctrine, sometimes are “weighty”, uncomfortable. We’ve certainly had these in this cycle of lessons. Today’s is one of those. Let us pray. Father, you have admonished us: let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying to the Church. By your grace may we do, so in Jesus Name. Amen

PRIDE. How many have heard this proverb: “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.” A haughty, arrogant spirit, feeds on praise and recognition, seeks to be exalted, boasts of accomplishments-look how great I am, I’m better than others and above reproach, others are beneath me, justifies us by who we know and what we do – the excessive pride that is conceit in one’s self. Today’s texts not talking about the pride that means the joy in doing a good job, or the delight and blessing of children that the Bible calls the pride of parents - No, not at all. They are referring to the pride where the heart attitude is that of a sense of superiority. One preacher called it the ‘gospel of me’ where the driving ‘ism’ is to exalt me, what makes me feel good, what makes me happy, self-satisfied, what gives me pleasure cause I am entitled. This ‘ gospel of me’ attitude is pervasive in our culture and has crept into the church (one minister says it’s knocked down the doors of the church); it's a destructive pride. The prideful haughty spirit can be contagious, and its presence in the church creates chasms, breaks the unity of the Body, which Jesus has called out to be a community of one-ness and love.  Pride like in the parable (Pharsee&tax collector) about those who trust in and promote themselves to others and even to God as very righteous, simultaneously judging others worthy of contempt.  Friends, such pride is gateway to an anti-God, antichrist attitude and deeper sinful conduct. Pride does not require a certain status in life: rich, poor, middle class, upper class, heads of corporations, heads of families, political leaders, religious leaders, youths and teens, young adults, middle-aged adults, senior adults, black-white-brown, yours truly – no one is immune to pride. It is like the pretty weeds of the nightshade family – they have pretty blossoms and berries, but are toxic and deadly as they mature. Pride that is left to grow in us becomes more toxic, more deadly, destroys relationships with family, friends, and most importantly with God. We are all susceptible to adopting a prideful attitude or conduct. Why?

Because of the first act of rebellion by humans. Adam’s and Eve’s sin was the consequence of pride – acting out their belief that they could be like God. They chose to believe a lie that appealed to the opportunity of independent self-rule  rather than obedience to God. And when confronted with that sin, Adam pridefully replied that it was because of the woman that God gave him – as if she were an inferior product – that woman, that God made, gave me the fruit of the tree and I ate it! Not my fault! We chuckle, but the truth is that we all inherit this tendency from Adam as part of his sin DNA. Prideful people want to be their own boss, truly believe that God is obliged to satisfy their needs and wants because they deserve it. They practice a modern-day Gnosticism that says they own their bodies and can do whatever they want with them, that as long as they feel some kind of “spiritual” connection to the universe, they’re good. 

Our 1st reading today, written by a Jewish scribe who lived nearly 200 years before Christ, who borrows from holy scripture addressing the human condition saying, “the beginning of human pride is to forsake the Lord; the heart has withdrawn from its Maker. For the beginning of pride is sin, and the one who clings to it pours out abominations.” Heavy statement.
Friends, human pride is devoid of the Fear of God; it is a forsaking of the LORD; it has dire consequences. But, the antithesis of human pride is humility that is founded in the fear of the LORD. 

That’s the overarching theme in today’s texts-- submission to God in humility, fearing God and reverencing Him alone. Our fear of the Lord should lead us to humble ourselves, should lead us to remember and empathize with, pray for, serve and support the Body of Christ throughout the world. Our reverential fear should leads us to obey God regarding sexual purity in a world that literally worships and takes pride in sexual immorality of all kinds. Like Balaam in the Bible, who was an agent of devil that led a prideful Israel into gross sin, satan still uses pride like a weapon against believers. In the Luke reading, Jesus words are uncomfortable, maybe even offend; He tells us,"all who exalt themselves will be humbled". He goes further, asking us if those we tend to bless are those who can do something FOR us. He admonishes that we are not only to bring blessings to, but to also invite persons who are poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind the outcasts – we’re to reach out to them to bless them w/o payment, w/o prerequisites but with hospitality and provision. That’s why God placed us here, placed our church in this place to bless the community and those in need, to go beyond the doors of our building in a sacrificial way – how are we doing w/that? Think about it:  Did not the One who is our Sustainer and Deliverer, our Provider, once see us as outcasts, undeserving of mercy? 

 This gospel of ME: I am entitled I deserve, am better than, this arrogance of pride is so easy to come by: we breathe it, we hear it, we taste it daily in the spirit of the world around us. It insidiously entangles us, wraps us in layers of self-deception.   Have you ever awakened from sleep to find your feet tangled up in the bed coverings? You struggle to break free, kicking off all the covers eventually. That is the kind of situation pride puts us in Hebrews 12:1-2a in the lectionary a couple of weeks ago speaks to that. "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us [the writer is referring to what we call the 11th chapter's Bible honor roll of faithful believers who model for us what our faith must be like; so since we have this model of faith before us], let us also lay aside every encumbrance [weight] and the sin which so easily entangles us..."

We are told to recognize that we are entangled by a seemingly imperceptible sin --a sin such as pride, and that we must get rid of it—it’s anti-God, and blocks our spiritual growth, gets us off the path of our marathon faith journey. How are we to rid ourselves of such a sin? Look at verse 2: we are instructed to  humbly submit ourselves, our lives to the originator and perfector of our faith, our Lord Jesus Christ, and do what He would have us do.. The LORD cuts to the chase at Philippians 2:3 (and we thought the gospel lesson in Luke was hard), where He says we are to “do nothing from selfish ambition or empty conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves.” Wow. This is one of those scriptures in the Bible that we try to read fast and not hear. But friends, this is NOT a passover scripture—this scripture is integral to who we are in Christ!  Do nothing – what does nothing mean? Nothing right? Do nothing from selfish ambition or empty conceit, but in humility regard OTHERS as better than yourselves;  totally opposite view of how the world thinks and functions. So then, do we conclude that Christians are better than the world?  NO! Romans 3:23 reminds us that We are sinners like everyone else. But we are to be different. God calls us to be different: He has placed the Grace of God in His children; we did not place this grace in us, we didn't call ourselves, we didn't become "a Christian" in our own power. NO. We received the Spirit of Christ in us and the faith that Jesus planted in us - primarily so that we cannot boast as having achieved this on our own, the Holy Spirit in us who seeks to transform us to be, to look, to speak, to 'smell' different from the world. This grace that leads us to share and live sacrificially, to invite others to grow with us in Christ - this reality should soften our hearts in humility rather than puff us up in pride. See - the longer devil’s worldly system persists – the more pronounced our “difference” must become. Hard stuff to hear, isn't it? 'Siblings', brothers and sisters in Christ, the gospel of ME cannot co-exist with the fear of the Lord and God’s people need to stop acting like it can! The Holy Spirit says at 1 Peter 5 that God opposes the proud - He will not even listen to the prayers of the proud! Look: Christ did not die on that cross to make us happy and self-absorbed, self-satisfied, entitled – He died to make us holy, to have in us His power of salvation, to submit to and be sanctified in and by the Spirit Who empowers us to die to wordly passions – to grow in holiness. To God’s glory – not ours. There was minister years ago who God had used powerfully to preach His oracles, and who, after such powerful sermons, the Holy Spirit instructed him to withdraw to a quiet place, to sit in full submission and prayer to God to protect his mind and heart from any tendency toward pride in how God used him in such a powerful way. He obeyed.

This Fear of the Lord, deep reverence and awe of God, knowing and believing deep inside of us that only God is deserving of all praise, honor and glory. That for us to try to appropriate even a smidge of such pits us against God! This reverence and awe, this full commitment to the sovereignty and authority of God and His Word is the fear of the Lord that we are to develop within us and live throughout us to push pride out. That is what our texts are telling us today, and what they have been telling us for a while now – that we are to CULTIVATE this fear and reverence. We pray the words each Sunday; we sing  the words each Sunday. Pride has no place in the life of a believer. It smothers, it chokes the fear of the Lord in us.  

So: Do we have a healthy fear of the Lord, a humility before Him? To borrow a phrase, do we ‘cop a plea’ like Adam, and say the pride that we live in and practice isn’t our fault – no: it’s the family I came from, the community I lived in, or it's the culture that I was raised in. I just do what they do! I had a co-worker who was a regular church-goer, still is. She used to say years ago (but I have not heard it recently, hallelu) that the reason she curses like a sailor is because her mother and aunt - regular churchgoers, always did. Will our testimony of it’s not my fault hold up before an Almighty Holy God? If the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom –Do we submit to the wisdom of God by applying His word to our lives? Until we understand who God is and develop a reverential fear of Him, we’re prone to pride. It is so essential to believe and obey God, and submit to His holiness. It must be our goal over our self-satisfaction. Need to realize how much God loves us/hates sin especially pride. God had created this beautiful angel in heaven with the capacity to praise and worship Him in extraordinary ways, but the angel allowed a jealous pride to develop within him and challenged his Creator. We call him satan. God created humankind in His own perfect image and loved them, yet they succumbed to a destructive pride, that broke that unity and from which we continue to suffer. God hates pride in His children because of its destructive and harmful nature. 

I need to tell you this true story and then I’ll be about done.    A minister once shared a time he had allowed pride to creep up in him. He had overcome a serious speech impediment from his youth, had completed college and pursued the ministry, was a fierce force to be reckoned with on the tennis court. He had “worked his way up” from a poor preacher who sometimes did not even have food to eat, to become a senior pastor of a large church, to travel in that role and do mission work, preach regularly on the air and was the recipient of much praise and honor. He said that all of it got into his heart and mind. He was consciously and unconsciously becoming more and more entangled by the pride that had begun to take root in him. But God -- But God would not let him continue in that way (how many know that God loves us too much to let us go down a path of self-destruction without intervening?). God knows the trap that pride is to humans and He saw the cords getting tighter on his child. One day when playing a hot game of tennis, the minister went for a lob and stumbled, tripped, and twists his ankle. Anybody else know what that feels like? It is so painful - hurts for days! But the minister was oblivious to the connection of falling less than glamourously on the court, winding up in such a humbling situation, feeling more righteous for going after the ball than recognizing where that action led him to (makes you think of Nathan and King David, right?). So with one leg injured, and limping around, he nevertheless continued blind to his sinful pride – which seemed to take on yet another level. So one day, driving with the one foot, he gets into an automobile accident and now the other leg is out of commission. This is true!! Some days later, following the accident, he is at home trying to sort out before God all that was happening to him. And somehow he had become separated from his crutches - they had fallen away from him and were no longer in arms’ reach. Can you guess what happened next? He says he had to get down on the floor, on his stomach, hands and knee, crawl and drag himself towards his crutches. He's crawling and dragging and, as he does so, a gospel song by Nicole Mullen – "I Get on My Knees" began playing and in that moment his eyes were opened. Surprise and remorse. He realized that since he himself had been choosing not to bow in humility before His Lord, the Lord brought him to a place where the only choice was to be on his knees. On his knees in deep regret and humility before his Lord. On his knees in submission to begin the healing process of removing the pride from his heart, mind and soul that had damaged his relationship with Jesus. 

Our All-Knowing, All-Wise God repeatedly warns us to humble ourselves before Him to battle the sin of pride. He further tells us in Philippians 2 that we cannot take this matter lightly – we must labor, struggle to work out these things that cause us to stumble through the power God gives us. He enables us to choose to submit to His will, He enables us to walk humbly. He enables us to nurture our union with Christ by regular Bible study, unceasing prayer, fellowship with other believers, through service to others and seeking God’s kingdom above our own. 

We may never have considered that we could be harboring within us seeds of pride that can damage our witness and relationship with Jesus. Like getting vaxxed against chronic viruses, we need the protection of spiritual discipline that our Pastor has been admonishing us during this season of Pentecost to embrace: spending more time w/Gd and intentionally serving Him in worship and in outreach to others. Like today - we can find scriptures in our favorite Bible app that warn about pride, commands us to be humble and meditate on those. We must often - daily - seek out God’s perspective, praying the prayer at Psalm 139 for God to search our minds and hearts so that we can know where we have allowed pride to get a hold on us. Listen to what He would have us do, then commit ourselves to live in harmony with His will for our lives, walk humbly w/God.  In Jesus’ name let us pray prayer from BCP for self- dedication and submission to God’s will. 

61. PRAYER OF SELF-DEDICATION [AND SUBMISSION], Book of Common Prayer, p. 832 (adapted from the traditional language at that page to reflect contemporary language)

Almighty and eternal God, so draw our hearts to You, so guide our minds, so fill our imaginations, so control our wills, that we may be wholly Yours, utterly dedicated to You; and then use us, we pray You, as You will, and always to Your glory and the welfare of Your people; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

And let the church say Amen.